


The Witness Is Dead

by zauberer_sirin



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Drabble, M/M, Missing Scene, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-03
Updated: 2009-05-03
Packaged: 2017-10-18 19:29:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/192426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zauberer_sirin/pseuds/zauberer_sirin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Merlin can't imagine actually being friends with the prat, ever, but maybe Arthur is not so bad after all</i>. Set during 1x02, "Valiant".</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Witness Is Dead

Merlin admits, it was exhilarating, a rush of blood to his head, seeing how Arthur believed him, seeing Arthur defend him in front of everyone, in front of his father, the King -even for a moment, it was the power, it felt good, it tasted like something metallic, _vital_ , in his mouth. For a moment he forgot that Arthur was the man who asked him to clean his boots on a daily basis with a look on his face and a tone of voice that meant what he really wanted was somebody licking them, the pompous fool. In that moment Merlin didn't even feel like a servant. Arthur is the prince and he stood up for Merlin. The kick of it – made Merlin feel adequate, in the way the dragon's words made them feel hollow, but magic makes him feel, like he has a place in the world. Merlin can't imagine actually being friends with the prat, ever, but maybe Arthur is not so bad after all. Maybe-

And then-

 _`I trusted you.´_

Of course. Short-lived, short-breathed, a fish moment. Merlin wonders if he imagined it, Arthur standing in the Great Hall saying he believed his servant. He didn't know he craved Arthur's trust until he lost it.

Merlin, searching the hallways, turning all the corners, listening to every footstep in the castle. He knows the root of Arthur's fear, even if he is slow on the uptake.

`Look, I _know_ you are not a coward, if that's what-´

Merlin grabs him by the elbow, wondering if that could get him killed.

But Arthur just gives him a sharp-edged, enraged look and Merlin knows what it means in the split of a second. Who cares for the opinion of one servant -correction, one _ex_ -servant, Arthur's just sacked him this very night. Arthur needs every single person in Camelot. It's a pathology, Merlin thinks, suddenly realizing how much it bothers him. _I know you're not a coward. That should be enough_ if only because the reverse is true, Arthur believed him, for a moment, and it should made all the world of difference. But it doesn't, for Arthur.

`Get out of my sight,´ Arthur says, quietly, with no emotion in his voice.

Merlin lets him go, backs off.

Then in a moment -what it takes for Arthur's footsteps to die away but for the echo to linger, what it takes for his figure to disappear behind a corner- the other, more pressing concern surfaces, grabs hold of Merlin's throat, his tongue, until he can taste blood, sensitive, skin-thin. None of that matters, Arthur believing him or not, Arthur sacking him or not, Arthur caring if Merlin knows he is not a coward – all of that is so irrelevant it's childish, really. Merlin realizes, half-hysteric, it is Arthur's safety that comes first.

Valiant's shield, the snakes, the venom, it comes to him in a new, pressing light. He has a vision of the snakes' fangs, endless, and a vision of Arthur on the ground, the soil stained with red, dark blood. That's what this all comes down to. Everything else is a child's game.

For a moment, Merlin can't breathe.

  
\--

  
It's only after the banquet -and Arthur has only just finished reciting the list of Merlin's future chores and Merlin feels it's annoying, but almost alright, being an ex-ex-servant to the prince- and the noise dies down a bit, some of the older knights calling it a night already, retiring quietly or riotously after each man's fashion, from the dining hall.

Morgana and Gwen are still going at it – listing Arthur's faults with merciless precision, Merlin feels merry enough that he doesn't need to contribute. He catches Uther looking Arthur's way and after a moment, giving a slight nod to his son. Merlin watches the line of Arthur's shoulders stretch, relaxing.

`That's a good day for you. Uh?´ Merlin comments, half-hoping Arthur's wined enough that he would forgive the vague tone of companionship.

Arthur frowns.

`I killed a man today, Merlin. That never brings joy. But it can bring... _relief_.´

Merlin looks at him. It's a rare quiet moment, he doesn't think Arthur has granted him something like this since they've met. He feels compelled to reply but doesn't know how - _I'm glad you are alive_ but Arthur would probably hit him for being an idiot.

The thought makes Merlin smile.

`What?´ Arthur asks, catching that smirk.

`Nothing,´ Merlin replies.

Arthur rolls his eyes, goes back to his drink.

Merlin still can't imagine being friends with the prat but well, sometimes, the prat is alright. Annoying, but Merlin can stand it. Arthur is not so bad after all.


End file.
